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Red Deer Reality Rant #13 - Standard Issue, the Red Deer Uniform

Hello there fellow Red Deerians! We’ve got a special edition of Red Deer Reality Rant today, but it’s likely only special because it’s the 13th instalment and I like to think it’s a rather lucky number. However, I don’t know if that really makes me different from anyone else. Some Red Deerians like to think that they stand out from the crowd, but I have noticed ever since moving here that there appears to be a kind of uniform for people who are from or are currently residing in Red Deer.

That is the topic for today’s rant, the Red Deer uniform. If you live here, and travel to another town or city often times you will stick out like a sore thumb and people might ask you where you are from. But, if you are wearing the Red Deer uniform, it will be immediately apparent that you are from Red Deer. Today I will stick to the nuances of male version of this uniform, because the female version is less obvious although no less appalling to me.

I think most people will tell you that they wear whatever they like, but sometimes I think a pack of Red Deer men look like a bunch of walking advertisements for Under Armour. In case you didn’t already know, the Under Armour brand was formerly known as Hurley, and even then it was a typical thing for dudes to wear. I don’t really understand the obsession with this brand, but it does stand out to me because everyone who lives here seems to be wearing it.

If you happen to go to the beach in Mexico and you see a dude in white sunglasses, Under Armour or Hurley t-shirt, plaid shorts and Converse sneakers there’s a 99% chance he’s from Red Deer, Alberta. If he’s also driving a jacked up black truck with tinted windows, really, he couldn’t be from anywhere else, cause who else would drive such a thing all the way to Mexico?

If you are reading this, and think this sounds like you, I mean no offence. Just, hey man, I think it’s great that you look typical to your native city. It’s not a style I would go for, like Nike, Just Do It, because everyone else is. I don’t know who came up with this outfit in the first place either, it seems to have been in effect for decades. Maybe Red Deer needs a style upgrade, how about Lucky 13? It’s got Hurley-esque vibes and is super casual enough to be worn with jeans.

I don’t know, I’m not judging, I just find it a little dull. I mean, even McDonald’s changes their uniforms every few years. There’s plenty of other things to be found to wear in Red Deer, even at Bower Mall! Sunglass Hut even carries a few styles in colours other than white. But don’t go to the Gap, unless you are looking for that 80s retro vibe of pricey clothes with a brand name and the quality of Walmart, or slightly less than.

Wear what you like. But please, only if you truly like it, not because Joe McBeerfan does or said you should. That’s my piece for today, until next time, Red Deer, stay beautiful and stay brutal!


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