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P-Vock's Music Box: Half-Baked

Hello and welcome back to P-Vock's Music Box. Now that summer is FINALLY almost over, I'm feeling really comfortable with the temperature. This slightly chilly season sees the leaves come crashing down quicker than my hopes and dreams and sees my joy rise like a Phoenix from their ashes. It's such a joyous time for me that I could just dance. So, let's shake our hips with the funkiest half-genie around.

The Shantae series is a wonderful, and completely ridiculous, series that I simply adore. You play as the titular Shantae, a cheerful and magical half-genie who protects her village from evil and definitely has not had several metric tons of disturbing fan art created depicting her in provocative situations, I swear... Anyway moving on.

The games are fast-paced, charming, and just plain fun. Shantae's trademark hair whips as effectively as the mightiest of Belmont whips and her transformation magic rivals even the greatest of Magic the Gathering cards (I don't actually know how Magic works and I would rather get crushed by elephant Shantae than learn).

But, of course I gotta ask, how the music sound??

Not too long ago, I played the single greatest piece of music to twerk alongside. Well, I think I can classify this as the single greatest song to shake them hips alongside. Given that Shantae is a belly-dancing genie, I think this theme (which may as well be one of the main themes of the series) is the perfect mix of Bollywood, funky beats, and techno-wonderfulness.

What, that's not a word? Well, you shouldn't come here if you want coherent writing and not the nonsensical rambling of a pretentious asshole.


Shantae's most recent outing, Shantae and the Seven Sirens, is a rather tepid entry in the series for most people. In a series bursting with creativity and charm, people found this one rather underwhelming.

All of those people are idiots and need to get whipped. This game, and its music, completely slap.

It's just so pleasant and endearing while maintaining that same bouncy beat that makes you want to shrug your shoulders and bob your head along.

Alright, let me get you one more tune and then I'll be on my way.

During one of the most hilarious segments in this ridiculous series, Shantae is tasked with carrying her classic frenemy zombie Rottytops, who I am definitely not in love with, through a spooky forest.

Why must she carry this delightfully decaying diva through the woods, you ask?


Damn, this beat just doesn't stop. It is so fitting for the level. The player has no time to stop and survey their area, and must just keep going no matter what, leading to frantic and tense gameplay.

This music absolutely nails that feel, while still being undeniably Shantae.

Alright, I've rambled on enough and I'm tired, so I'm going to go away now.

I hope you're enjoying this lovely time of year as much as I am. If you're not, go play some video games or watch that show that's been on your watchlist for three years and that'll take the edge off!

Thank you as always for checking out my content, and I'll catch you back here next year with another suggestion from my Music Box.

Stay Brutal!

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