Merlin's Mewsings Vol. 4


Hello. It’s me again, Merlin. I am a cat and therefore I have a little trouble understanding humans. Now that there’s this COVID-19 pandemic going on, humans are puzzling me even more. I know that a lot of humans are trying to make the best of the situation, but I have noticed that some of the measures and precautions that are in place to help prevent the virus are difficult for some humans. An important way to help prevent COVID-19 is by practicing social distancing. This is a very logical idea, and has been effective, but I don’t understand why some people are upset at not being able to be in each other’s faces.


As a cat, I am naturally a loner, and I like my privacy and people respecting my personal space. But humans can be very annoying. Yes, I do appreciate a scratch behind the ears now and then, but humans can get way too up close and personal and invade my space. One of the human practices that annoys me the most is hugs. I detest hugs. Sometimes I can just tell when a human is going to pick me up and give me a hug, so I bolt away as fast as I can and get myself somewhere that the human will find it too difficult to reach me. Like under the bed or dresser, or behind the couch. It perplexes me that humans enjoy hugs, why would you want to be squished? That’s not my idea of fun. Some people give hugs as a kind of greeting, which I find horrific, why can’t you just say hello?


People always want to pick me up. If I wanted up, I would just jump there myself. And contrary to what my own humans believe, I am NOT a live teddy bear. Now I know that I am really good looking and fluffy and soft, and I would be flattered but people need to be respectful of others personal space. It’s a pandemic, physical distancing is a very logical idea. Viruses are transmitted through the ill person’s sneezes and coughing droplets if they happen to land on you. That being said, I am a cat, so I am pretty sure that I am immune to most viruses that affect humans. But I believe in taking every precaution necessary to preserve my health. I understand that the customs of humans are very different from mine, so I will tolerate people’s belief in giving each other hugs, just leave me out of it. I am not saying that people should never give each other a hug, even though I find it to be an excruciatingly annoying experience, but I am saying that people need to be cautious these days. At least until life goes back to normal, which I know it will and all humans can have their fun exchanging bodily fluids. But until then, be careful, be respectful, and wash your dirty human hands. Even if you don’t think they are dirty. Cats are firm believers in good grooming and cleanliness. I am obsessed with keeping my fur looking it’s best, like I have noticed that many humans are too, even though they have very little. I don’t understand human hairstyles, why do you even care? But perhaps that is a mewsing for another day. Until then, I am Merlin, have a good night.

- MERLIN

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