i am a cannonball to your tranquility.
when i observe your peace, it disturbs me,
so much so, i
begin a reich of tirade words and violent scenes
until i can’t breathe, and you can’t see through the tears.
why do you do it?
i always thought it impossible to die away,
to come back again,
like grass in spring
hoping for new life in a better year.
I wrote this poem in 1998. At the time I was in a relationship where I was very much the bad guy. I believed the woman I was dating was my soulmate, and as such, I took it for granted that she would put up with my shit. She did not. My heart was broken. The moral of the story? Treat those you love well, or you will end up lonely.
Still, I love the imagery in the poem, from the concrete visual of a cannonball shattering our peace or surroundings to the idea of the renewal of spring. In my opinion, amnesty begins at midnight is one of my better early efforts. Even though this romance ended, hope remains.