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  • Writer's pictureNeila

Alien in Exile #5

There seems to be a a ridiculous amount of blogs out there in this, the massive cyberspace realm, that are about a small variety of things like entertainment news, fashion, technology, gossip and fandom. This blog seeks to offer you a unique perspective, it has not all been done before. The perspective that you will hear from today is from someone who is not from earth but also not from anywhere else. We are the underground, we are an outsider, we are outcast, we are, the alien in exile.

We have looked over our previous blogs and we are satisfied that we have offered our perspective to the best of our ability and knowledge based on our observations. That being said, perhaps we need to express our amusement at some of the finer things we have discovered on Earth. We have determined that we need to offer a more positive perspective today and we would like to share with you today our perspective on one of the greatest inventions ever created by humanity.

The perspective for today is: Soap. We have observed and utilized this invention in 99% of its forms and have determined that it is extremely useful as well as being very novel. The most useful of the types of soap that we have studied is the antiseptic because it has saved lives and prevented disease. We have not been on Earth long enough to have witnessed the period where soap was not being utilized enough to be effective, but we have noticed that there are a few non believers in the product as a personal hygiene aid. We have inferred from this observation that Earth must have had a very odiferous and disease ridden past before the widespread use of the invention of soap.

Despite these inferences, we are very amused by the quality and variety of soaps that are offered today. Human females seem to be the major consumer of the largest variety of soap. We believe that the effectiveness of soap products consumed by females that advertise beauty and anti aging properties is null. However, these products are billion dollar business and the multifariousness of them is astonishing, therefore from our frequent studies of them they are still quite fun to consume. We do not understand anyone who avoids the use of soap because it is such a wonderful invention in our life.

We are an outsider, at one point in our life we tried to start our own society of like minded individuals. We called our society S.O.A.P - Society of Outcasts Among Pariahs and with this creation we could have cleansed the world. However it was an abject failure. No one would join despite widespread canvassing. We determined that either we are the ultimate outcast on this planet or the other outcasts do not want to admit that they are outcast. To this day we believe we could have had an inspirational and effective society with S.O.A.P. If only we were not alone.

We are the Alien in Exile. We want a society of friendship.

Conclusion: Soap = salvation

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